7-17-97, 11:12 AM

Kourtnee had been sitting at her desk working for five minutes.  I was sitting on the couch reading the magazine that Mr. Adams had been reading.  Kourtnee looked up at me and said, “Why aren’t you filing?”  I said, “I finished with all the filing.”  Kourtnee smiled and said, “I will have to find you something else to do.”  I made a face and whined, “Do I have to do something else?”  Kourtnee looked at me and said, “Yes.  You cannot just sit in my office goofing around and I have to work.  We both have to be working.”  I stood up, walked over to her desk, and stood by her.  She looked at me and asked, “What are you going to do?”  I sat on the edge of her desk.  She smiled at me and said, “Is something wrong?”  I didn’t say anything.  Kourtnee said, “If you open your mouth, sound will come out of it.”  I giggled.  She pinched my cheek.

I was still sitting on the edge of her desk.  She shook her hair to get it out of her face as she said, “Are you going to tell me what’s wrong?”  I shrugged my shoulders.  She responded, “Let’s get this straight now; I do not understand shoulder shrugs.  You need to open your mouth and answer me.  I do not want you shrugging your shoulders at me or anyone else anymore.  Do you understand me?”  I looked at the floor and said, “Yes, mame.”  She said, “Look at me.  What is wrong with you?”  I mumbled, “I miss Mrs. Johnson.”  Kourtnee said, “Go sit on the couch.”  Kourtnee walked over to the door, stuck her head out of it to say something to Paula, and closed the door after she came back in the office.  She sat down beside me.  I laid my head her shoulder.

Kourtnee:  This has been a hard time on you.  You are going to miss Mrs. Johnson for time to time.  Something you see or hear will remind you of her.  I still miss my father.  He has been dead for over 8 years.

LaDawnya:  Did you cry when your dad died?

Kourtnee:  Yes, between Donna and me we cried buckets in my mother’s lap.  Mother said that during my father’s death was the only time Donna and I didn’t ever fight.  Everyone misses the people who have died.  I am not Mrs. Johnson.  I can’t take the place of Mrs. Johnson.

LaDawnya:  I know, but I miss some of the stuff that she did for me.

Kourtnee:  Like what?

LaDawnya:  She used to sing all the time.  No matter what she was doing, she was singing.  She used to tell me stories all the time.  I miss hearing her tell me stories.

Kourtnee:  If you want to hear singing all the time, you are going to have to hang around granddaddy.

LaDawnya:  He sings off key.

Kourtnee:  He does.  Mother loves to tell stories, so you will have to ask her to tell you stories.  Once she gets started, you will be there a while, a long while.

I laughed.

Kourtnee:  So, what else do you miss about Mrs. Johnson?

LaDawnya:  Sitting in the kitchen with her.

Kourtnee:  That’s one thing that you are not going to be able to get.  Ramona is crazy about her kitchen.

LaDawnya:  Is that why you are so meticulous?

Kourtnee:  Spell meticulous.

LaDawnya:  M-E-T-I-C-U-L-O-U-S.

Kourtnee:  Alright smarty pants.  I guess so.

LaDawnya:  I suppose I can live without having to be in the kitchen.

Kourtnee:  Anything else?

LaDawnya:  That’s not a complete sentence.

Kourtnee:  I know that.  Is there anything else?

LaDawnya:  Mr. Adams wants me to call him granddaddy.

Kourtnee:  You can if you want to.

LaDawnya:  Ok.

Kourtnee:  Are you going to call him granddaddy?

LaDawnya:  I don’t know.

Kourtnee:  Is there anything else you want to talk about?

LaDawnya:  I guess not.

Kourtnee:  You guess not?

LaDawnya:  No mame, there isn’t anything else I want to talk about.

Kourtnee:  Are you sure?

LaDawnya:  Yes, mame.

Kourtnee:  Ok, let’s go back to work.

LaDawnya:  I have finished all my work.  I am going home.

I started to stand up.  Kourtnee grabbed my arm and pulled me back down.  She hugged and kissed me, as we laughed.