Dr. Nicolas:  How are you feeling today?

LaDawnya:  I’m fine.

Dr. Nicolas:  How has everything been going so far today?

LaDawnya:  Ok.

Dr. Nicolas:  Are you ready to talk now?

LaDawnya:  Does Kourtnee have to be in here while we talk?

Dr. Nicolas:  No, she doesn’t have to be.  I can ask her to wait in the waiting room if you want me to.

LaDawnya:  Can you do that?

Dr. Nicolas:  Ok.

Dr. Nicolas walked over to Kourtnee.  A few seconds later, Kourtnee looked at me.  I stared at her.  Dr. Nicolas talked to Kourtnee some more.  Kourtnee kept looking at me.  I kept looking at Kourtnee.  Kourtnee gave me a very hurt look and then she walked out of the office.  I don’t think she was too happy.  Dr. Nicolas walked over to her chair and sat down.  She motioned for me to sit down.

LaDawnya:  I don’t think she was happy about leaving.

Dr. Nicolas:  No, she wasn’t.

LaDawnya:  I don’t particularly care.

Dr. Nicolas:  Why not?

LaDawnya:  I don’t know.

Dr. Nicolas:  You don’t care about hurting Kourtnee’s feeling and you don’t know why?

LaDawnya:  Something like that.

Dr. Nicolas:  Ok.  Why did you want Kourtnee to leave the room?

LaDawnya:  I just didn’t want her in here.

Dr. Nicolas:  Why not?

LaDawnya:  I don’t know.

Dr. Nicolas:  What do you know?

LaDawnya:  Kourtnee is so perfect.  I can’t be that perfect.

Dr. Nicolas:  Has she said that she wanted you to be perfect?

LaDawnya:  No.

Dr. Nicolas:  What makes you think that she is that perfect?

LaDawnya:  Her closet and everything else in her house.

Dr. Nicolas:  For example?

LaDawnya:  Her closet is organized by clothing items and then by colors.  It is very weird.

Dr. Nicolas:  Kourtnee likes order in her life.  Is there something wrong with that?

LaDawnya:  No, mame.  I just don’t want her to expect me to be that way.

Dr. Nicolas:  Has she said that she wants you to be like her?

LaDawnya:  No, mame.

Dr. Nicolas:  Well, then, you shouldn’t worry about that.

LaDawnya:  I guess.

Dr. Nicolas:  Kourtnee told me what she said to you the other day, about not being with her that long.

LaDawnya:  She did?

Dr. Nicolas:  Yes she did.

LaDawnya:  Oh.

Dr. Nicolas:  Do you want to talk about that?

LaDawnya:  No.

Dr. Nicolas:  Why not?

LaDawnya:  I don’t want to talk about it.

Dr. Nicolas:  So, what do you want to talk about now?

LaDawnya:  I don’t have anyone to talk to.

Dr. Nicolas:  You are talking to me now.

LaDawnya:  That’s not what I meant.  I mean I don’t have a best friend.

Dr. Nicolas:  Oh.  What about the youth from Harmon Street?

LaDawnya:  I have only been close to one person in my life, my friend Necca.

Dr. Nicolas:  Oh, where is she at now?

LaDawnya:  I don’t know.  She left the orphanage and I haven’t heard from her since she left.

Dr. Nicolas:  Is she the only person that you talked to?

LaDawnya:  No, I talked to Mrs. Johnson, too.

Dr. Nicolas:  Umm.  That is a dilemma.  You can talk to me until you find someone else to talk to.

LaDawnya:  Yea, like you are gonna give me your phone number so I can call you everyday.

Dr. Nicolas:  I didn’t mean it like that.  I am here for you to talk to every week.

LaDawnya:  It still ain’t the same.  You are friends with Kourtnee.

Dr. Nicolas:  So, you think I can’t be impartial?

LaDawnya:  I don’t know.

Dr. Nicolas:  I am a professional.

LaDawnya:  Forget it.

Dr. Nicolas:  Why do you want me to forget it?

LaDawnya:  It’s stupid.

Dr. Nicolas:  It’s not stupid if it matters to you.

LaDawnya:  I just don’t have anyone to hang out with or talk to.  I get tired of hanging around with Kourtnee and her friends and family.  I don’t have anything of my own anymore.

Dr. Nicolas:  What about the youth at the church and in the choir?

LaDawnya:  Greater Buelahland is Kourtnee’s church.

Dr. Nicolas:  That doesn’t mean that you can’t make friends with some of the youth at the church.

LaDawnya:  I suppose, but I don’t know how fond of me they will be after I begin directing the choir more.

Dr. Nicolas:  Are you a mean choir director or something?

LaDawnya:  No, I just don’t like playing around at choir rehearsal.  The youth at Greater Buelahland have a hard time dealing with that concept.

Dr. Nicolas:  Sis. Browne said that you had been trained under Amelia Crawford.  I can tell from the way you talk.

LaDawnya:  Who hasn’t she told?

Dr. Nicolas:  Sis. Browne thinks that Sis. Crawford is too hard on children.

LaDawnya:  I know.  She told me.

Dr. Nicolas:  What about your friends from school?

LaDawnya:  I don’t think that I am going back to the school I left.

Dr. Nicolas:  Why do say that?

LaDawnya:  Kourtnee asked Dr. Melez for my school records and the school I went to is on the other side of town from the house.

Dr. Nicolas:  Oh.  Have you asked Kourtnee about school?

LaDawnya:  No.

Dr. Nicolas:  Why not?

LaDawnya:  I hadn’t thought about asking her.

Dr. Nicolas:  If you go to a new school, maybe you will make new friends.

LaDawnya:  I guess.

Dr. Nicolas:  Do you want to talk about Mrs. Johnson?

LaDawnya:  No mame.  I talked to Mr. Adams about that earlier today.

Dr. Nicolas:  Ok.  Is there anything else?

LaDawnya:  Are you gonna tell Kourtnee what we talked about in here?

Dr. Nicolas:  Not if you don’t want me to.

LaDawnya:  Ok.

Dr. Nicolas:  Do you want me to tell her what we talked about?

LaDawnya:  No mame.

Dr. Nicolas:  Ok.

LaDawnya:  That’s it.  You are not going to tell her anything.

Dr. Nicolas:  No, I am not going to tell Kourtnee anything.

LaDawnya:  Cool.  You can tell her to come back in here now.

Dr. Nicolas:  Ok.

Dr. Nicolas went to her office door, stepped out of the door, and then walked back in the office with Kourtnee walking behind her.  Kourtnee did not have that smile on her face anymore.  She looked appalled.  She sat down on the opposite end of the couch.  I just looked at her.  She looked in the other direction.  I could not believe that she was acting crazy with me.  She was too old to be acting like that.  Dr. Nicolas noticed the tension between Kourtnee and me.  Dr. Nicolas began working through what was going on with us.

Dr. Nicolas:  Kourtnee, why are you sitting down there by yourself?

Kourtnee:  Because I feel like sitting down here.

Dr. Nicolas:  I denote some resentment in your voice.  Why are you upset?

Kourtnee:  I want to know why I had to leave the office.

Dr. Nicolas:  LaDawnya just wanted to talk to me about some things.

Kourtnee:  And I had to leave the room to do that?

Dr. Nicolas:  That’s what LaDawnya wanted.  If you, leaving the room is going to make LaDawnya more comfortable, then that is what needs to be done.

Kourtnee:  Whatever.

I had never seen Kourtnee this upset.  I began to feel dejected.  I wanted to go home.  How was I supposed to know that Kourtnee was going to act a fool because I didn’t want her in the room?

Dr. Nicolas:  Kourtnee, there is no reason for you to be upset because LaDawnya wanted you to leave the room.  LaDawnya, do you mind if I tell Kourtnee what we talked about?

LaDawnya:  You know what, I really don’t care!

I got up from the couch and walked to the window of Dr. Nicolas’ office.  It didn’t matter if I wanted to talk to Dr. Nicolas about something in private.

Dr. Nicolas:  Kourtnee, I think it would be best if I didn’t tell you what LaDawnya and I discussed.

Kourtnee:  If that’s what you think.

Dr. Nicolas:  Why are you still upset?  The girl wanted to talk to me without you in here.  She didn’t tell me any secrets and she didn’t tell me anything bad about you.  You don’t have any reason to be worried.  Your behavior is not going to produce a good outcome.

Kourtnee:  Please, do not give me that good outcome mess.

Dr. Nicolas:  This session is for LaDawnya’s benefit, so whatever I have to do to make the meeting beneficial for her; I am going to do that.

Kourtnee:  Ok, I get the message.

Dr. Nicolas:  Just for the record, you can ask her what she told me.

Kourtnee:  Yea.

Dr. Nicolas:  LaDawnya, do you want to come back over here?

LaDawnya:  No, mame.

Dr. Nicolas:  Well, I am coming over there.

LaDawnya:  Ok.

Dr. Nicolas walked over to the window and stood beside me.

Dr. Nicolas:  This is a very nice view.

LaDawnya:  Are you gonna tell me to tell Kourtnee what I said to you?

Dr. Nicolas:  No, I am not.

LaDawnya:  Are you gonna tell Kourtnee what I said to you?

Dr. Nicolas:  No, I am not.

LaDawnya:  Why is she acting so stupid?

Dr. Nicolas:  I don’t know.  You are going to have to ask her that question.

LaDawnya:  Yea, right.  I am going to be able to have some friends of my own.  Great.

Dr. Nicolas:  Come on.  Let’s go over there with Kourtnee.

LaDawnya:  Do I have to?

Dr. Nicolas:  Yes.

Dr. Nicolas and I walked over to where Kourtnee was.  Dr. Nicolas sat in her chair and I sat on the couch.

Dr. Nicolas:  Kourtnee, LaDawnya has something to ask you.

LaDawnya:  Why are you acting so silly?

Kourtnee:  What did you just say?

LaDawnya:  I said why you are acting so stupid.

Dr. Nicolas:  Before this gets out of hand, Kourtnee, LaDawnya just wants to know why you are reacting the way you are reacting.

Kourtnee:  What did you say to Dr. Nicolas that you couldn’t say to me?

LaDawnya:  Nothing.

Kourtnee:  Then why did you want me to leave?

LaDawnya:  I wanted to talk to Dr. Nicolas by myself.

Kourtnee gave me this look.  I was getting tired.  I told Kourtnee everything that I said to Dr. Nicolas.  I didn’t even care anymore.  Kourtnee was being stupid.  After I finished telling Kourtnee everything, I walked to the window again.  It was quiet in Dr. Nicolas’s office for the longest.

Kourtnee walked over to me and put her hand on my shoulder.  I yanked my shoulder away from her and walked off.  Kourtnee followed me and tried to talk to me.  I was uninterested.  Kourtnee apologized, but it didn’t matter, she makes me sick.  Kourtnee went into a diatribe that I half listened to.

Kourtnee:  I never thought about you having someone to talk to because I am here.  I figured that you would just talk to me about what you were feeling, thinking, or going through.  It was selfish of me to think that, but I want you to feel secure talking to me about anything.  It hurt me when Dr. Nicolas said that YOU wanted me to leave the room.  I apologize for making you feel bad.

LaDawnya:  I guess so.  Whatever.

Kourtnee:  That didn’t sound too convincing.

LaDawnya:  That is about as convincing as I am going to be at the moment.

Kourtnee:  Ok.

That was pretty much the session.  Kourtnee and Dr. Nicolas spent the last half hour of the session talking to each other.  I was just there.  I nodded or said yes and no when appropriate.  I thought that Thursday, 3:30 PM – 5:00 PM were supposed to be my sessions with Dr. Nicolas.  I guess I was wrong.