Kourtnee caught up with me when I reached the front door of the church.  She stopped me and told me to go back to the car.  There were people walking in the church.  I thought about causing a scene, but Kourtnee gave me this look that if I didn’t get back to the car and now, I was going to be in trouble.  I stood at the entrance of the church for a moment and then started towards the car.  When Kourtnee and I reached the car, Kourtnee told me to get in and then she let me have it.

Kourtnee:  Have you lost your mind, slamming my car door like that?  What is your problem?

LaDawnya:  You are my problem.

Kourtnee:  You had better stop talking to me like that if you know what’s good for you.

LaDawnya:  Whatever!

Kourtnee:  You are determined to act a fool tonight.

LaDawnya:  Can I go?  I am going to be late for choir rehearsal.

Kourtnee:  I should make you go home and miss choir rehearsal!

LaDawnya:  That would be fine with me.  I don’t want to go to this stupid church anyway.

That must have caught Kourtnee off guard because she was quiet and just stared at me.  I can honestly say that I had never acted this shameless before.  It was as if I was having an out-of-body experience.  I was watching myself act a plumb fool.  I must say that it was rather exhilarating, being rebellious.  I was experiencing a feeling of ecstasy.  It was wonderful.  I wanted to scream, to celebrate what I was feeling.

Kourtnee looked so dejected.  She told me to get out of the car and go to choir rehearsal.  I must have looked like I wanted to say something because Kourtnee told me to hush and get out of the car.  She said that she would be back to pick me up after choir rehearsal.  I got out of the car and walked towards the church.  I didn’t see Kourtnee drive off.

Choir rehearsal was awful.  Nancy clowned me for being late.  Terry didn’t show up at all.  James couldn’t play the song.  Sis. Browne actually fussed at us.  I was shocked.  She said that we had to sing in a couple of weeks and we were not ready.  She droned on and on.  She dismissed choir rehearsal at 7:00 PM.  If this had been Sis. Crawford, she would have fussed at us and then made us rehearse anyway.

The other choir members goofed around the church waiting for their parents.  The folks with cell phones had lines of kids waiting to use their phones.  I didn’t want to call Kourtnee, so I went down to the front of the sanctuary.  I went and sat at the piano.  I played a few notes of “When the Saints Go Marching In.”  I played the same notes over and over about 10 times.

A lady walked in and exclaimed, “Child, please play something else!”  I sullenly replied, “That’s all I can play.”  She looked at me.  She said, “Hi, I am Evg. Vanessa Butler and you are?”  I replied, “My name is LaDawnya Dia Miantay.”  She held out her hand for me to shake it.  I shook her hand.  Evg. Butler said, “Why are you in here when choir rehearsal is over?  Why aren’t you waiting for your ride?”  I said, “I haven’t called my ride yet.”  Evg. Butler gave me this look.  She told me to follow her.  I did.  I had no idea who this woman was or where she was taking me, but I blindly followed her.

We went to the 2^nd floor of the church to the Minister’s Room.  The Minister’s Room was a place where the ordained clergy of the church could go and prepare to preach, fellowship, or sit down.  The room had two tables in it.  There were also book shelves with all kinds of books on them.  There were two other people in the room.  Evg. Butler went to the table and got something out of what I assumed was her purse.  She walked back over to me and handed me a cell phone.  She said, “Here, call your ride and tell them to come get you.”  I took the phone and reluctantly called Kourtnee.

“Hello.  Kourtnee, this is LaDawnya.  Choir rehearsal is over.  Can you come pick me up?” I said.  Kourtnee paused for a long time.  I said Kourtnee’s name.  She said, “I’ll be there in 20 minutes.  Be waiting out front for me!”  I said goodbye, hung up the phone, and gave it back to Evg. Butler.

Evg. Butler:  Kourtnee Adams is your mother.

LaDawnya:  My foster mother.

Evg. Butler:  Hum, I take it that you and Kourtnee had a fight or something.

I looked at Evg. Butler and didn’t say anything.  Evg. Butler escorted me out of the Minister’s Room, down the hall into the balcony.  She sat down and then I sat down.

Evg. Butler:  Do you want to talk about it?

LaDawnya:  No mame.

Evg. Butler:  Ok.  Are you the new choir director everyone is talking about?

LaDawnya:  Yes mame.

Evg. Butler:  Are you as good as people say you are?

LaDawnya:  I guess so.

Evg. Butler:  Do you always answer questions with 2 or 3 words?

LaDawnya:  Sometimes.

Evg. Butler:  Do you want me to leave you alone?

LaDawnya:  No mame.  Not really.

Evg. Butler:  Oh my goodness, four words.

I smiled.

Evg. Butler:  And a smile.  Can I praise the Lord right quick?

LaDawnya:  If you want to.

Evg. Butler:  It must feel weird to be put in a whole new environment.

LaDawnya:  Yes, mame.

Evg. Butler:  Two words again.  Let me pray right quick.

LaDawnya:  You don’t have to pray.

Evg. Butler:  Uh oh.  Let me shout right quick.

LaDawnya:  Church folk can shout for any reason.

Evg. Butler:  It doesn’t take much to make me praise the Lord.

LaDawnya:  Ok.

Evg. Butler:  How long has Sis. Adams been you foster mother?

LaDawnya:  Since June.

Evg. Butler:  That hasn’t been that long.

LaDawnya:  Long enough.

Evg. Butler:  It can’t be that bad.  Sis. Adams is one of the richest women in the state.  A lot of other children in the foster care system would love to be in your shoes.

LaDawnya:  I know.  I know.

Evg. Butler:  It can be hard adjusting to a new person.

LaDawnya:  How would you know?

Evg. Butler:  I had a foster mother for a year and a half.

LaDawnya:  Really.  Why?

Evg. Butler:  My mother had a nervous breakdown when I was ten and she had to be institutionalized.  I had no relatives living in this state, so I went into the system.

LaDawnya:  Woo.

Evg. Butler:  Yep.  I became very bitter and angry.  I began fighting.  I became very mean.  I would bully kids just because.  I was horrible.

LaDawnya:  Did they send you away?

Evg. Butler:  Yes and no.  My social worker sent me to live with an older woman who was a foster parent.  Her name was Mother Gray.  Mother Gray worked successfully with troubled children.  She was successful with me, even though I did everything that I could to make her hate me.  She taught me about Jesus and taught me to love myself.  She was great.

LaDawnya:  Wow.  Kourtnee’s ok.  She is just so different than the people I knew before her.

Evg. Butler:  Mother Gray was different for me.  I wasn’t use to unconditional love before I met Mother Gray.  In my household, love was shown by giving money or gifts.  Hugs and kisses were not given out regularly.  Mother Gray hugged and kissed me everyday.  I mean everyday.  She got on my last nerve when I first got there, but after awhile, I grew to love it.

LaDawnya:  But I’m different.  I use to get all the attention and hugs.  Now, I am stuck in the middle of Kourtnee’s world with nothing.

Evg. Butler:  You have the people you knew before.

LaDawnya:  No, I don’t.  Mrs. Johnson is dead.  Arlene won’t call me back.  I had to leave my church.  I will probably have to leave my school.  I have nobody.

Evg. Butler:  You have Kourtnee and JESUS.  The Bible says, “I can do ALL things through Christ which strengthens me.”

LaDawnya:  Are you gonna start preaching?

Evg. Butler:  No, not unless you want me to.

LaDawnya:  Can you save the sermon for another time?

Evg. Butler:  Yes.  Remember, also that you have a brand new church, full of people and ministers that can help you.

LaDawnya:  This is Kourtnee’s church.

Evg. Butler:  No baby, this is God’s church.

LaDawnya:  I know that, but everyone here knows Kourtnee.  How am I supposed to make friends with people?  What if they really just want to get to know Kourtnee and are using me?

Evg. Butler:  you just have to trust God to lead and guide you on how to pick and make friends.  Of course, every now and then, you will pick the wrong friends, but we all have picked the wrong friends.

LaDawnya:  I know.  Kourtnee probably hates me now.

Evg. Butler:  Why do you say that?

LaDawnya:  I acted a fool with her.

Evg. Butler:  I’m sure an apology will help.

LaDawnya:  Yea, but I really acted crazy.  I have never acted that crazy before.

Evg. Butler:  Sis. Adams will understand.  I’m sure this isn’t the first time you have acted crazy with her, is it?

LaDawnya:  No, mame.

Evg. Butler:  Did she forgive you before?

LaDawnya:  Yes, mame.

Evg. Butler:  It stands to reason that she will forgive you this time.

LaDawnya:  Yes, mame.

Evg. Butler:  So, do you think you can ask Sis. Adams to make a donation to my ministry?

LaDawnya:  See what I mean, folk just use you.

Evg. Butler:  I’m just kidding.  If you need to talk to someone, I’m here.

LaDawnya:  Ok.  Is that like the theme around this church?

Evg. Butler:  What do you mean?

LaDawnya:  Talking to someone.

Evg. Butler:  Oh.  Bishop Adkins does teach us to talk things out.  He says that holding things in will only make you bitter, angry, and hurtful.  So, I guess talking to someone is the theme around here.

LaDawnya:  I see that.

Evg. Butler:  Is there something wrong with talking to someone?

LaDawnya:  No, mame.

Evg. Butler:  Uhh huh.  Can I preach my sermon now?

LaDawnya:  No, mame.

Evg. Butler was about to respond, but her cell phone rung.  “Hello.  This is Evg. Butler,” she said when she answered the phone.  She paused and then said, “Just a moment.  LaDawnya, it’s for you.”  She handed me the phone.  I said, “Hello.”  Kourtnee’s voice angrily said, “I thought I told you to be waiting outside!  Get your behind out here now!”  I quickly said goodbye, hung up the phone, gave it back to Evg. Butler, and bolted for the stairs.

Evg. Butler yelled my name and I stopped at the top of the stairs.  She said, “Girl, slow down.  Where are you going in such a hurry?”  I responded, “Kourtnee told me to be waiting outside for her.  She is gonna kill me if I don’t get outside.”  Evg. Butler said, “Do you want me to go out there and talk to her?”  I replied, “No, mame,” as I ran down the stairs.  I had to stop and go back up the stairs.  I found Evg. Butler, hugged her, and told her thank you.  She smiled.  I headed for the front entrance of the church praying, “Lord, please don’t let Kourtnee kill me.  Lord, please don’t let Kourtnee kill me.  Lord, please don’t let Kourtnee kill me.”