7-4-97, 7:45 AM

I was awakened by Kourtnee at 7:45 AM. She told me to go upstairs and get my clothes. I asked her could she go and get me some clothes. She asked why. I told her that I did not want to run into Marta. She said okay and left the room. I walked to the end of the hallway of Kourtnee's room and stood at the opening. Donna walked out of the room. She asked Kourtnee what she was doing. Kourtnee told her. Donna shook her head and said, "You are babying that girl. You probably baby her all the time. You need to tell her to go get her own clothes!" Kourtnee rolled her eyes and said something to Donna that I couldn't hear. Donna said something about Kourtnee needing to be a mother about as much as a woodpecker needed to live in a glass house. Kourtnee told Donna to mind her own business. Then she walked upstairs towards my room. I went back into Kourtnee's room.

I felt bad. Was it my fault that all the chaos had started? I tried not to think about it, but I laid in the bed and stared at the ceiling, I couldn't help thinking that it was my fault. I should have just sat down in the game room and watched the boys play the video game. I shouldn't have won the game of pool so easily. To be honest, I was just showing off. I didn't know that my showing off would cause a catastrophic wave of events. I admit, I tend to show off sometimes. It's hard not to show off. Arlene had taught me a long time ago that I was gifted and that I was allowed to show off on occasion. Arlene often told people that I was a genius. Mother Johnson had told her on more than one occasion to stop doing that. Mother Johnson didn't like people to boast. I couldn't blame her.

Kourtnee interrupted my thoughts when she walked into the room. She handed me a pair of pink shorts with a pink t-shirt. She had a pair of sandals and some lingerie also. I thought to myself, "Good grief. All this pink." I looked at Kourtnee. She looked upset. I wasn't sure what to do. I had never seen Kourtnee upset before. This was a new experience.

Kourtnee was in her closet looking for something to wear. I walked into the closet and ask, "Are you gonna wear pink, too?" She turned and looked at me. She wrinkled her nose and turned back around. Imitating Ms. Shields voice as best as I could, I said, "Kourtnee, don't wrinkle your face up like that!" She laughed, "Yes, Mother." She never turned around. I asked, "Are you gonna wear pink, too?" She kept searching in her closet. Imitating Ms. Shields again I said, "Kourtnee Deshay Adams Shields, do you hear me talking to you?" She turned around and looked at me funny. "Girl, you sounded just like Mother. I don't know what color I am going to wear, nosy," she said. I grunted and walked out of the closet. I yelled back in the closet, "Do you want me to go upstairs and get dressed?" She stuck her head out of the closet, "Quit yelling. If you want to, you don't have to. Just use my bathroom. Don't be all day taking a bath." I said ok. She told me to look in one of dresser drawers and get a robe. I was supposed to take a bath then come back into the room and put my clothes on while Kourtnee took a bath. I looked in the right drawer and looked through the robes. Kourtnee had an entire drawer full of robes. I looked at the drawer and shook my head. I did a flip over the corner of the bed and walked into the closet. I asked Kourtnee, "Why do you have a drawer full of robes?" She turned around and put her hands on her hips, "You are supposed to be getting dressed. I don't know why I have a drawer full of robes. Go get take a bath!" I stood in the closet staring at a black sequined evening gown that was hanging in her closet. She said, "Girl, quit playing and go to the bathroom!" I walked over to the dress and touched it, "What is this dress for?" She walked over to me and grabbed the collar of my t-shirt, "Little Girl, go get dressed, NOW!" She pulled me out of the closet. I looked at her. She pointed towards the bathroom and raised her eyebrows. I picked up my clothes and went into the bathroom.