7-7-97, 5:33 AM

For some strange reason, I woke up at 5:33 in the morning. I couldn't go back to sleep, so I went into the study and tried to read a book. I couldn't read the book. I was restless. I went back into my room and grabbed the Sportsmaster 4000 racquetball racquet that Mr. and Mrs. Adams had bought me on Saturday. I held the racquet in my hands. It felt good. It was much lighter than my older racquet. I took a couple of swings with the racquet. The racquet swung seamlessly. The racquet turned easily. I wanted to play racquetball. I needed a court.

Shimmers Inc. has a fitness center on the complex. The fitness center has a racquetball court. I decided to go wake Kourtnee up and ask her if she could take me to Shimmers. I looked at the clock. It was 5:49 AM. I figured that the most Kourtnee could do was yell at me. So, I went down to Kourtnee's room.

Kourtnee had her own house within the house. Her room was separated by a wall. You had to walk into a door just to enter Kourtnee's hallway. Kourtnee's office was the first room that you saw after you entered the door to the hallway. You had to walk down the hall a bit to get to Kourtnee's room. If you walked down the hall further and turned the corner, you could see Kourtnee's bathroom. Each room in "Kourtnee's House" adjoined to the next room by a door. You could go from Kourtnee's office to Kourtnee's bedroom through the adjoining door. You could go from Kourtnee's bedroom to Kourtnee's bathroom through the adjoining door. Why in the world did Kourtnee feel the need to be isolated in her own little world? I made a mental note to ask her that later.

I walked into Kourtnee's bedroom. Her bedroom door was open. It was always opened. I guess having an open door on your bedroom was not a problem when someone coming into your bedroom had to go through the long hallway. I whispered Kourtnee's name as I walked into the room. She was a light sleeper. She woke up when I sat on the bed. She asked me what I wanted. I laid down on the bed beside her and asked her what time she was going to get up. She rolled over and said that she was going to get up later on. She told me to leave her alone and go back to bed. I started drumming on my legs. Kourtnee told me to stop. I started humming. Kourtnee told me to stop. I stopped. I started directing my imaginary choir. My directing caused the bed to shake. Kourtnee jumped up abruptly and turned the light on that was on the nightstand next to her bed. She looked at the clock, at me, and then said, "Girl, it is 5:55 in the morning. Why are you bothering me?" She looked funny. She had on a light blue pair of silk pajamas. She had a light blue scarf tied around her head. I looked at her and started giggling. She grimaced as she said, "You have lost your mind. What are you giggling at?" I said, "You. Your headscarf matches your pajamas. There's something strange about that. Does everything you have on match?" She reached for a pillow. I jumped up off the bed. Kourtnee put the pillow under her head. She said, "Did you come down here at 5:00 in the morning to find out what I had on?" I responded, "It's not 5:00. It's 6:00. I came down here to ask you if we could go to Shimmers so I can go play racquetball." She sat up on her elbows. She almost yelled, "You woke me up at 5:00 in the morning to go play racquetball. Lord, have mercy. Girl, carry your narrow behind back upstairs and go to bed." She turned the light off and rolled over.

Kourtnee's back was to me. I walked around to the other side of the bed. Kourtnee looked up at me, "I thought I told you to go back to bed." I made my best puppy dog face and poked my lip out as far as I could. (It didn't make much difference because Kourtnee couldn't see my face in the dark.) I whined the best PLEASE that I could. She ignored me and turned over in the other direction. I sat down on the edge of the bed and leaned on Kourtnee. I bounced on the bed and said, "Please Kourtnee. Can you take me to Shimmers so I can play racquetball? Please!" She didn't move as she said, "I told you no."

I wanted to win. When I wanted to win, I could be stubborn. I continued my stand. I bounced on the bed again and said, "You gotta get up in a little while. Please, can we go? IF you go in early, you can leave early. PLEASE!" I added fake crying this time. That didn't work. I tried two more times without success. It appeared that I had lost. I sat on the edge of Kourtnee's bed. Kourtnee told me to move. I didn't move. Again, Kourtnee told me to move. I didn't move. This time, Kourtnee reached around me and turned the light on. She glared at me. Her nostrils were flaring and her lips were twisted. I knew I was in trouble. Anytime an African-American woman's nostrils flare, YOU ARE IN TROUBLE. I got up off the bed. She told me to go upstairs before I got into trouble. I dropped my shoulders and did as I was instructed.

I went into my room. I closed the door. I thought about slamming the door, but I knew that to be unwise. Slamming a door could get a person in a lot of trouble. I took a racquetball out of the can of balls that I had gotten when I got my new racquet. I tried bouncing it on the floor, but it wouldn't bounce on the carpet. I went into the bathroom through the adjoining door to my room. I bounced the ball for a while.

I was sitting on the counter bouncing the ball on the floor. I didn't see Kourtnee standing in the bathroom doorway. She called my name. When she called my name, I lost track of the ball and it bounced all over the bathroom. By the time, I caught the ball; Kourtnee had her hands on her hips. She said, "Give me the ball. Matter of fact, give me all the balls and that racquet." I looked at her and said, "How come?" She walked over to me and took the ball from my hand, "Because I don't want you breaking anything in my house. Give me the stuff." I stomped out of the bathroom. Kourtnee said, "Stop stomping." I rolled my eyes with my back to her. I slowly moved towards the closet to get the racquet. I heard Kourtnee huff, then she said, "Girl, you better move and give me that stuff!" I moved a little quicker. I got the racquet and the balls and handed them to Kourtnee. (I would have been fine, but I opened my big mouth.) As I was walking towards the bed, I said, "This wouldn't have happened if you would have taken me to Shimmers like I asked you to." Kourtnee walked over to me and said, "Since you want to be smart, you will get these back when I decide to give them back." She shook the racquet in the air. I yelled, "Awe man. I ain't even do nothing," as I twisted my face and flopped on the bed. I finished my tantrum, "Man, this ain't fair. I ain't do nothing." I kicked my legs. Kourtnee didn't say anything. All I heard was the door close. I sat in my room and sulked.

7-7-97, 7:12 AM

At 7:12 AM, Mrs. Jackson came upstairs and told me that breakfast was ready. Kourtnee and I always ate breakfast together every morning. I told Mrs. Jackson ok. I didn't go downstairs, even though I had said ok. A few minutes later, I heard Kourtnee's voice say, "LaDawnya, come down here and eat." I didn't move. I had no plans to go downstairs and eat with Kourtnee. A little later, Kourtnee came into my room, "Did you hear me tell you to come downstairs and eat?" I didn't say anything. I just stared at the ceiling. She waked over to the bed and stood over me and said, "I know you heard me! Get up, come downstairs, and eat!" I rolled over so that my back was to her. She said, "This is the last time I am going to tell you to get up and come eat breakfast!" I got up, walked past her, and went downstairs into the kitchen. Mrs. Jackson spoke to me as I walked into the kitchen. I didn't say anything to her. Kourtnee walked into the kitchen and said, "Did you hear Mona speak to you? Open up your mouth and speak. I am tired of you acting silly." I spoke to Mrs. Jackson. Mrs. Jackson made a face and headed out of the kitchen.

I sat down at the island in the kitchen in front of the plate that I knew was mine. Kourtnee tried to talk to me, but I was uncooperative for the most part. After awhile, she stopped talking to me. She left the kitchen before me. I didn't finish my breakfast. I threw most of my breakfast away. I went back upstairs and got in the bed. I thought to myself, "Kourtnee makes me sick!"

Kourtnee came into my room at 7:39 AM. She told me bye and that she would see me later. I mumbled bye. Kourtnee left me at home. For the first time since I had become Kourtnee's foster child, Kourtnee had left me at the house. I had no idea what I was going to do all day. It was all my fault that I was stuck at the house.