Original Date: 6-10-97

June 10th will always be a special day for me. It is the day that I became Kourtnee’s foster child. I didn’t know it at the time, but after the second weekend that I had spent with Kourtnee, she began the process to become my foster mother. Everyone else in my life knew about it but Paula and I. Kourtnee later told me that Paula couldn’t keep a secret, so she didn’t tell Paula. From what I was told, the process went smoothly. I still don’t know all of the details of what happened during the process, but I don’t need to know.

Trophies, Possessions, and Sad Memories…

I moved out of the Madkinia Orphanage on June 10. That day was funny because Kourtnee drove up to the orphanage to pick up my stuff and she had to call her grandfather to ask him to bring his truck up to the orphanage. We even had to go over to Mrs. Johnson house to pick up some of my trophies. She kept many of my trophies at her house with the rest of her children's things.

I had a lot of stuff to take with me. I mostly had a bunch of trophies, certificates, and awards. I am always winning awards and things for racquetball, singing, choir directing, church, or education. They kept most of my trophies in the trophy case at the orphanage. All together, I had 28 trophies and plaques and over 60 certificates. I had awards that I had received in the 1st grade. I kept every award that I had ever received.

Kourtnee helped me pack up my stuff. She ended up throwing some of my things out. If anything had a hole in it, she threw it out. I convinced her not to throw out a couple of my mementos. I was able to keep the first t-shirt that Necca had given me. I also was able to keep a t-shirt that Kalvin Johnson had autographed. Actually, it was half of a t-shirt. The team threw the t-shirts into the crowd at a game and the shirt was ripped when this girl and I both grabbed for the shirt. It took some pleading and a stern look from Kourtnee's grandfather, but I was able to keep the teddy bear that I had brought with me to the orphanage when I was five. I never looked at that teddy bear. It only conjured up bad memories. I kept it hidden in the bottom of my drawer under the clothes. For some strange reason, I never could throw it away. When Kourtnee handed me the bear, I took it and began to tear up. Kourtnee asked me something. I couldn't answer because I had a big frog in my throat. She turned around and looked at me. I stood there frozen, staring at the bear crying. She looked at me and then at the bear. She asked Mr. Adams to close the door. She grabbed me by my shoulders and held me so tight that I almost couldn't breathe. She let me cry for almost three minutes. I felt a hand on my shoulder. I looked back and Mr. Adams had his hand on my shoulder. I sobbed in Kourtnee arms until I had cried everything out.

Mr. Adams gave Kourtnee his handkerchief. She wiped my face and asked, "Are you okay?" I was whimpering, as I shook my head no. She looked like she was going to cry. Mr. Adams took over the situation. "Kourtnee finish packing up her stuff. LaDawnya, let's go for a walk." I looked at Kourtnee. She gave me a look that said, "It's okay." Mr. Adams and I walked out of the room. He asked me to take him on a tour of the orphanage. I thought he was going to ask me to talk about why I was crying, but he didn't. I gave him a tour of the orphanage. He told me about how he had started Shimmers Inc. Soon, he had me laughing. I wasn't even thinking about the incident that had just occurred.

We finished the tour. We started back for my room. While we walked back, he told me about his father. His father was Josias Carter. Josias Carter was a famous African-American leader in the state of Maddocha. Josias Carter never acknowledged that Mr. Adams was his son. Mr. Adams told me about how it made him feel to know that his father never acknowledged him and how it motivated him to be a better man. Mr. Adams shared quite a bit of his life with me. He looked sad briefly, then quickly fixed his face. He told me, "Don't worry sweetie. Now, you have a whole family that will acknowledge that you are one of us. You are an Adams now. The Adams family is the best family to be a part of." I hugged him. He smiled. Mr. Adams and I had the same kind of history.

We got back to the room. Kourtnee looked at both of us. She looked like she had been crying. She looked at me and turned her head. Mr. Adams asked me to wait outside for a few minutes. He closed the door. I walked down the hallway to say bye to some people. I came back about five or ten minutes later. Kourtnee looked fine and Mr. Adams did too. We all smiled and started taking boxes out to the truck.

When we finally loaded up the truck, we headed for Mrs. Johnson's house. Her daughter, Arlene Johnson-Countaus, was waiting on us. Arlene was like my big sister and mother. She always attended my events and competitions with Mrs. Johnson. You would have thought Arlene was related to me the way she yelled for me. Arlene hugged me. She shook Kourtnee's hand after I introduced her. She shook Mr. Adams's hand after I introduced him. We walked into the house and then into a room full of trophies. A third of them were mine. Arlene had as many trophies as I did in the room. The rest of the trophies and things were the rest of Mrs. Johnson's children and grandchildren. Kourtnee looked at me, smiled, and said, "Am I going to have to build a room onto my house for your trophies?" I smiled back as I collected the trophies. When we got ready to leave, Arlene handed me a box and said, "This is from Mama. She told me to give it to you here." Arlene started tearing up. Mr. Adams told Kourtnee to go ahead and get in the car, and then he followed. I don't think he wanted Kourtnee to start tearing up herself. Arlene hugged me and squeezed me. She acted as if she didn't want to let go. She walked me to the car and said to Kourtnee, "Take care of my baby." Kourtnee smiled and said, "We will." I was crying again. Kourtnee grabbed my hand. She let it go as she maneuvered the car out of the driveway and headed towards the car.

I cried. Kourtnee drove and hummed. I had finally calmed down. Ruth Fortson and the Color of Praise was in CD player blasting. I started crying again, when "Telephone in My Bosom" started playing. That was Mrs. Johnson's favorite song. I started thinking about her. Tears started flowing from my eyes. I cried the rest of the way to Kourtnee's house.

I was leaving the people that I knew as my family, going into another family that already had established relationships, cliques, and rules. I was glad that I was going into a new family, but I was going to miss my old family. These people had shaped my life, Mrs. Ima Jean Johnson, Bishop Fifty N. Handsome, First Lady Handsome, and Necca Harris. How was I going to make it without these people? At that moment, clear as day, I heard Mrs. Johnson's voice singing, "Telephone in My Bosom."

"…When you feel all alone, you can reach God on your phone. Just call Him on the telephone in your bosom…"

I knew everything would be all right.

When we reached Kourtnee's house, my face was red and my nose was red. I dried my face up and went to grab a box to take up to my room. I ran in the house quick. I put the box in my room and then I went to the bathroom. I wiped my face with cold water about four or five times, hoping that the redness would go away. About the fifth time, I wiped my face. It was slightly pink. That was good enough. I went back outside and helped take the rest of my stuff into the house. We had finally finished. Mr. Adams walked up to me and said, "Somebody owes me some money for all the moving that I did today." I smiled at him. He left and went home after he hugged me.

I went to my room and started to put my things up. I looked at all of the boxes of trophies, awards, and certificates I had. I just stared at the boxes. I hadn't realized how many awards that I had collected over the years. I sat down on the bed and tried to figure out what I was going to do with all of this stuff. Kourtnee walked in the room. She looked at all of the boxes on the floor. She started laughing. I looked at her, "What's so funny?" She stopped laughing and said, "Girl, how in the world did you end up with all these trophies?" "I don't know, I just did. I like winning stuff, so I always try to be the best at whatever I do," I responded. She smiled. She started taking stuff out of the boxes. She looked at me, "What are we gonna do with all of these trophies?" I shrugged my shoulders. Mrs. Jackson walked into the room, "Good grief. What is all of these?" Kourtnee said, "It's all of her stuff," and pointed at me. Mrs. Jackson shook her head, "Call me when you all get this stuff sorted out." She walked out of the room. Kourtnee walked out of my room and into the study/library. She yelled from the study, "LaDawnya come here." I walked into the study, "Help me move the books from this shelf and put them on the bottom shelf. You can put some of your trophies in here. We can make a scrapbook and put all the certificates in. I'll get you a bookcase and you can keep some of your trophies in your room. I will take a couple to my office at work and put them in there. If we need more room, we can figure that out later." We worked the rest of the night getting my things unpacked. Kourtnee took the trophy I received for Gospel Jam Youth Choir Director of the Year for 1996, the plaque I received for student of the year for 1996, and the trophy I received for being on the "A" honor roll for the past four years to take to her job. We only had one trophy left over after we put everything up. I received the trophy for being my school's Gospel Choir Member of the Year in 1995. Kourtnee took that one and put it in her office at the house.

Before I went to bed, Kourtnee came in my room. She sat on the edge of the bed. She had this look on her face. She sat there and didn't say anything. I didn't say anything either. She finally asked, "Are you gonna be okay tonight? You had a full day today. If you want to, you can sleep in one of the bedrooms downstairs." I answered, "I will be alright. Have you seen my little bear?" She looked at me, "I can't tell you what happened to it. You will get it back later." She gave me a sly smile and a wink. I looked at her and made a face. She asked, "Do you want me to stay up here with you until you go to sleep?" I shook my head no. She kissed me and left the room. After she left, I felt so alone. I had never felt that alone before. Rather than start crying, I ran down the stairs and went to Kourtnee's room. I knocked on her bedroom door. She told me to come in. I asked, "Can I come in here with you?' She said that I could. She moved the books and folders she had on her bed to a chair that was next to the bed. I lay down in the bed. Kourtnee woke me up the next morning at 7:30. I was still in Kourtnee's bed.