Original Date: 6-24-97

After the funeral, we went to the grave yard and laid Mrs. Johnson to rest. I was standing next to Arlene. She elbowed me and said, "Let the dead bury the dead." I laughed out loud. Most of the people turned and looked at me. Kourtnee popped me on the shoulder. Arlene grabbed my hand and squeezed it. I know why Arlene said, "Let the dead bury the dead." She thought going to the grave site after a funeral was a waste of time and gas. It was another tradition. I don't know how that tradition got started, but Arlene thought it was useless.

I swallowed hard. This was the last time Arlene was going to squeeze my hand when she made me laugh. I was always getting into trouble because she was always making me laugh. I laid my head on Arlene's shoulder. She put her arm around me. She had a knack for knowing what I was thinking. Arlene and I acted a lot alike. Mrs. Johnson had always said, "Child, when Arlene ain't around, you're here. The Lord blessed me with two Arlenes." Out of the corner of my eye I saw Kourtnee's posture change. I turned my head and looked at her. Kourtnee looked annoyed and jealous. Arlene whispered in my ear, "Your girl acts all proper, but she looks like she is about ready to cut me." I started laughing. Kent nudged Arlene in the side. Kourtnee tapped me on my leg. Arlene thumped me on my shoulder. I buried my head into Arlene's chest and kept laughing. A few seconds later, my laughter turned into crying. Arlene rubbed my back and whispered, "I'm gonna miss you, too."

We were getting ready to go back to the church to eat. Eating was the best part of Black funerals. People would bring the best dishes to a funeral. I was still clinging to Arlene. Kourtnee looked at me and crossly said, "You can ride back to the church with Arlene. I am going to ride with my mother." With a wrench of her body, Kourtnee walked off. Arlene let me go and followed after Kourtnee. Kent looked at me and said, "Lord, have mercy. WOMEN." I snarled my nose up at him and put my hands on my hips. He playfully grabbed me by the back of my neck. He shook his head, "Lord, have mercy, girls and women." He and I walked off to the car.

As I sat in the car, I watched Arlene and Kourtnee. I wondered what they were saying. Kent didn't make the situation any better because he started acting like he was them. He acted out the scene using female voices, hand gestures, and body movements. Chester walked by and said, "Man, I told Arlene something was wrong with you." Kent swung at Chester. Chester laughed and walked off. I sat back in the seat. Kent stuck his head in the car and asked what was wrong. I shrugged my shoulder. He said, "Do you think Kourtnee will let us have visitation rights?" I smirked at him. Arlene walked over to us. She hugged me, "I love you. If you ever need me for anything, just call me. I will always be here for you. Now go over there with your new family." I looked at Arlene. I didn't make a move. Arlene told me to go with Kourtnee again. I still didn't move. Arlene scowled, raised her voice, and told me to go. I rolled my eyes at Arlene and walked off. At that moment, I knew that I would probably never see Arlene or any of the Johnsons again. I turned around and looked back at Arlene. She was in Kent's arms crying.

Just then, I despised Arlene for making me leave her. I despised Kourtnee for making me leave Arlene.

When I reached Kourtnee, Ms. Shields, Colt, and Ms. Austin, Kourtnee tried to touch my shoulder. I jerked away from her. I walked over to Colt's car and got in. Kourtnee started waking towards the car, but Ms. Shields stopped her. Colt and Ms. Austin got into the car. We started driving. I asked Colt where he was going. He said back to the church. I told him that I didn't want to go to the church. He nodded and asked his mother to call Kourtnee. Ms. Austin called Kourtnee. At the end of their conversation, Ms. Austin told me that Kourtnee wanted to talk to me. I wouldn't take the phone. Colt took the phone and told Kourtnee that we were going to the house. I laid down on the back seat and went to sleep.

We finally reached the house. Colt woke me up. I went directly into the house and went to my room. I laid down in the bed with my clothes on. I knew that if Kourtnee would have seen me in my clothes she would have been upset. I didn't care at the moment. I was upset with her. I went to sleep crying.

Later on, I was awakened by Kourtnee. I looked up and saw that it was her. I rolled over so that my back was towards her. She sat down on the bed and started talking. I don't know what she said. I kept saying to myself, leave me alone. I kept saying it louder and louder, until it came out of my mouth. I sat up on the bed and yelled, "Leave me alone!" I stormed out of the room into and went into the main bathroom on the second floor of the house. I slammed the door and locked it. Kourtnee knocked on the door. I sat on the edge of the tub and ignored her. I heard Colt's voice, "Kourtnee, give her some time. She just lost an important part of her life. She just left the only people she knew as her family. Give her some time. She will be okay." Kourtnee mumbled something. I sat on the bathroom floor for an hour. I was still wearing what I had worn to the funeral. While I was sitting in the bathroom, I kept singing "Telephone in My Bosom."

I went back into my room. I changed clothes. I went into the study and picked up the phone. I called Arlene. Kent picked up the phone. He talked to me for a few seconds. Arlene finally came to the phone. I didn't have to say a word. Arlene just started talking. By the time she was finished with the conversation, I felt bad about how I had treated Kourtnee. We said goodbye to each other and hung up the phone. I didn't feel like going to talk to Kourtnee at that moment, so I went into the TV room to watch TV.

I heard someone walking in the hall. I thought it was Kourtnee, but it was Ms. Shields. She came into the room and started talking to me. She didn't mention Kourtnee one time. She talked about me directing and singing. I kept waiting for her to mention Kourtnee, but she never did. She watched TV with me for a short time. I heard footsteps again. This time, Kourtnee walked into the TV room. She told me that Colt and Ms. Austin were leaving. I walked downstairs and said goodbye to them. Ms. Austin hugged me for a few moments. Colt hugged me for a few moments. They left. I should have gone back to the TV room, but I didn't. I went to my room. I sat on the bed and stared at the box on the dresser that Mrs. Johnson had given me. I went and took the box off the dresser. I played with the bow on the box. As I was playing with the bow, Kourtnee walked into the room and sat down on the bed. I looked at her and then went back to playing with the bow on the box. Kourtnee asked me was I going to open the box. I shrugged my shoulders. I gave the box to her and said, "You can open it if you want to." She retorted, "Are you sure?" I told her that I was sure. She opened the box. She showed me what was in the box. It was a pair of pearl earrings. It was the pearl earrings that Mrs. Johnson wore all the time. Once, I had asked Mrs. Johnson if I could have the earrings. She told me no because her mother had given her the earrings.

I held the earrings in my hand. Mrs. Johnson had given me the earrings her mother had given her. Kourtnee took the earrings from my hands. She looked them over, and then she gave them back to me. I put the earrings back in the box. I sat the box back on the dresser. I laid down in the bed.

Kourtnee started talking about some things that Arlene had said to her at the grave side. I wasn't paying any attention to her. I was thinking about Mrs. Johnson cooking and humming gospel songs. I drifted to sleep.