Original Date: 6-12-97

The week of June 9th was a full week for me. I had moved into Kourtnee's house. I had told my new family that I didn't use Shimmers hair care products. That was a big obstacle because most of the money that my new family had was because of Shimmers Inc. Hair Care products. I had gotten a new hair stylist, my new Grandmama, Mary Hatley-Adams. (Mrs. Adams only permed my hair. One of the other stylists styled my hair.)

So, on Thursday when I went to see Dr. Sheronda Nicolas, I had a lot to talk about. Dr. Sheronda Nicolas is a psychologist. She is also the choir director at Greater Buelahland Interdenominational House of Rest, the church Kourtnee and I attended. Dr. Nicolas was also the psychologist for Shimmers Inc. The executives were required to talk to her once a month and the employees could talk to her if they had a problem.

I had met her once before when Kourtnee introduced us at church. I knew who she was. I knew a few things about her. Dr. Nicolas has a very cute smile. Her eyes seem to sparkle whenever you talk to her. She always has a new hairstyle and is always dressed appropriately for the occasion. She wears a diamond-studded necklace that bears her name. She keeps up with the latest fashion trends, since she always likes to look her best. She has been twice voted the best-dressed woman in Dorinda, Maddocha.

Dr. Nicolas is wise for her years. She is always striving for perfection. She is a very good listener. She is a very good friend. She is kind and warm-hearted. She is good at her job and she knows this. She is very sure of herself and knows where she wants to go in life. She has a very good singing voice and is a marvelous choir director. She can teach a choir a song in a matter of minutes.

I was nervous when I went to Dr. Nicolas' office. Kourtnee went with me. One of the requirements of the foster care system in Maddocha was that both the child and the parent had to go talk to a therapist or psychologist each week. If the therapist or psychologist noticed anything, they were to report it to the foster care service.

Dr. Nicolas made me feel very welcomed when I walked into the office. She had on a teal business suit. She had on teal shoes that matched the suit perfectly. Her necklace that said, SHERONDA, sparkled when the sunlight hit it. Her office was spacious. It had to be the biggest office in the building. She had an oak desk in a corner. She had an oak table in another corner that matched the desk. She also had several bookshelves that matched the desk and table. The bookshelves were filled with books about almost everything, especially psychology. Of course, there was a brown couch with a matching brown lounger next to it.

I looked around the office. There were cookies and juice on the table. Dr. Nicolas saw me looking at the cookies; "You can have some cookies if you want to." I looked at Kourtnee. She nodded at me. I went and grabbed a couple of cookies and a cup of juice. Kourtnee called me over to where she and Dr. Nicolas were. Kourtnee and I sat down on the couch. Dr. Nicolas sat down in the lounger next to the couch. She started talking and explaining stuff. I didn't pay attention. I was looking around the office. I was bored. I didn't want to be there. At the orphanage, when we had therapy sessions, there were usually eight or nine other kids there so I didn't have to do too much talking. Kourtnee caught me not paying attention. She nudged me with her elbow. Dr. Nicolas saw this, "LaDawnya, is there anything you want to talk about?" I shook my head no. Kourtnee snarled her lips. Dr. Nicolas smiled and told Kourtnee that it was okay if I didn't want to talk. I looked at Kourtnee out of the corner of my eyes. Inside I felt like I had won. Dr. Nicolas went back to talking. I still wasn't listening. I think I had begun to aggravate Kourtnee. She stopped Dr. Nicolas, "LaDawnya, would you please pay attention? These sessions are for your benefit." I looked at her. For some reason, I felt like getting an attitude.

I made a face, "I don't really want to be here. I don't need to talk to her." I don't know if I was just being a teenager, if it was PMS, or if I just wanted to see how Dr. Nicolas would react. Kourtnee looked at me like I had lost my mind, "What is that supposed to mean?" I retorted, "Nothing. Why do I need to talk to her? Ain't nothing wrong with me." I got up and walked away from them. Dr. Nicolas walked over to me, "So, you are testing me out to see how I will react," she said above a whisper. I turned around and looked at her. She smiled at me. I made a crazy face. She asked, "So, are you still sad about having to leave all of your friends?" I looked at her. She said, "Kourtnee told me." I looked at Kourtnee, "You told about that!" I wasn't mad. I was shocked. I couldn't believe Kourtnee had told all my business. Kourtnee was about to say something to me when Dr. Nicolas said, "I am her psychologist, too. She told me what happened. Kourtnee, why don't you tell LaDawnya how you felt about seeing her cry." I walked back over to where Kourtnee was sitting. She proceeded to tell how she felt. Mid way through talking, tears began to roll down her cheek. I was fighting back tears. She felt almost as bad as I did. Kourtnee finished talking. Dr. Nicolas looked at me, "LaDawnya, tell Kourtnee how you felt." I looked at Dr. Nicolas, "I don't feel like talking." Dr. Nicolas said, "That's okay. Would it help if I left you two alone?" I rolled my eyes, "Not really." Kourtnee sighed. I didn't want to look at her. I didn't want to see what she looked like. Dr. Nicolas kept trying to get me to talk. I was still refusing. I still hadn't looked at Kourtnee. Dr. Nicolas finally said, "Kourtnee, LaDawnya and I are going for a walk." Kourtnee responded, "Okay." I finally looked at Kourtnee. She had a look of hurt that I will never forget. I felt so silly. I was mad at myself for hurting Kourtnee. I got up and walked out of the office with Dr. Nicolas.

Dr. Nicolas took me on a quick tour of the building. We went outside the building and walked in the outside. We were in the courtyard of the building. We sat down at a table. There was a fountain in the courtyard. The water came up from in the ground. The water alternated from various holes in the ground, ending with water coming from all of the holes at once. I watched the water for a few minutes. Dr. Nicolas saw me doing this, "I bet I can tell you which spigot the water is going to come from." I looked at her, "Okay." She responded, "Ok, but only if we make a deal." I frown and rolled my eyes, "What kind of deal?" She said, "If I get all of the spigots right, you have to agree to try to talk to me." I thought about it for a moment. I knew a Dr. Nicolas had a trick up her sleeve, but I wanted to see if she could do it. I agreed, "Okay, if you get them all right, I will try to talk to you." She began guessing. She guessed all of them correctly except the last two. She said, "I guess you don't have to talk to me. Let's go back to the office."

Now, I should have just left it at that, but I didn't, "That's it. I don't have to talk to you. If I don't talk to you, what are you gonna tell the foster care system?" She smiled this sly grin, "Are you worried about what I am going to say?" "What about Kourtnee?" I inquired. Dr. Nicolas grinned, "That's up to you. You have to make this work as well as Kourtnee. Kourtnee is trying. Are you gonna try?" I looked at her as she stood up. I just sat there. I put my elbows on the table and then put my chin in my hands, "It's hard for me to tell people how I feel and stuff." She sat back down and began talking to me. We kept talking until we saw Kourtnee walking into the courtyard. I walked over to us, "Did you all forget about me?" Dr. Nicolas responded, "No, we didn't. We can go back up to the office. Hold on a second." She began guessing which spigots the water was going to come out of. This time, she guessed them all correctly. I shook my head and giggled, "You tricked me." She put her hand on my shoulder, "Yea, I did," she smiled and began to walk towards the building. I knew that Dr. Nicolas was good, very good.