June 20, 1997, 7:20 AM

I woke up at 7:20 that morning. I went downstairs to Kourtnee's room. I laid down on her bed. She was in the bathroom. When she came back in the room, she sat down on the bed, "What are you doing in my bed again?" I turned over and faced her, "I don't know. Do I have to go to Day Camp today?" She felt my forehead, "No, you don't have to go." She reached for the phone and called Paula. She told Paula that I wasn't going to Day Camp. Kourtnee also told Paula that she was going to be in later and to reschedule a meeting that she had that morning. Kourtnee hung up the phone. I got under the covers and pulled them over my head. I went to sleep.

June 20, 1997, 10:52 AM

Mrs. Jackson woke me up. She had a tray that contained some toast, jelly, and grape juice. I sat up and ate. I took the tray back into the kitchen. Kourtnee was sitting in the kitchen drinking a cup of tea. She smiled at me, "How are you feeling now?" I went to the refrigerator and looked around in it, "I feel fine." Mrs. Jackson came over to the refrigerator, "I just brought you some food, why are you in my refrigerator?" I turned around and looked at her, "I was going to get some more juice." She smiled as she moved me aside. She brought the grape juice out and walked over to the counter to pour me another glass of juice.

I sat down next to Kourtnee. She moved over. I smiled at her. I knew why she moved over. She didn't want me to get any juice on her sky blue blouse and white skirt. She looked a little more casual today than she did yesterday. She had on a pair of black loafers. I looked her up and down. She made a face at me, "Am I casual enough today for casual day?" I smiled, "I guess you are." She smiled back, "Colt and Mrs. Austin will be over here at 12:30 to stay with you. Colt is going to drive you over to meet with Bishop Handsome. I will meet you all over there." I blew a breath, "Why are they coming over here? Mrs. Jackson is here." She turned and looked at Mrs. Jackson, "Because Colt said he wanted to come over and stay with you." I made a crazy face. Kourtnee asked, "What was that face all about?" I shrugged my shoulders and said, "Nothing." I started singing, "But you say he's just a friend." She swung at me as if she was trying to hit me. She hit the glass of grape juice instead. She knocked the glass over on me and onto the floor. Mrs. Jackson squealed, "The both of you all get out of my kitchen. You all are making a mess." I looked at Mrs. Jackson, "I didn't do anything. Kourtnee did it." Mrs. Jackson didn't seem to care who did it. She was upset that we were messing up her perfect kitchen. She shooed Kourtnee and I out of the kitchen. I went to hug Kourtnee. Kourtnee pushed me back, "Girl, don't hug on me. You have juice all over you." I tried to hug her again, "There are people looking for love. I am trying to show you some love and you are running from me." She smiled, "If you get grape juice all on me, you are gonna get in trouble." I ran past her towards her room. She retorted, "Do not go in my room. Go up to your room and change clothes!" I was still heading towards her room. She yelled my name. I turned around and started towards her. She glared at me, "Girl, I am not playing with you. Go upstairs and change clothes." I started up the stairs. While I was walking up the stairs, I sung, "But you say he's just a friend." She laughed and yelled, "I got your friend."

June 20, 1997, 12:45 PM

Kourtnee came into my room at 12:28 PM. She told me that Colt had called and they were running late. I told Kourtnee that she could leave and go to work, but she said that she would wait. Kourtnee looked at what I was wearing. I was wearing a t-shirt that was ripped at the bottom. She made a face and told me to go put something else on. I did. She asked me, "What are you gonna where today when you go talk to Bishop Handsome?" I sat down on the bed, "Some clothes." She smiled as she went into my closet, "I see you are feeling much better now." I said, "I am old enough to pick out my own clothes." She ignored me. I walked over to the closet. She had picked out a pink shirt and skirt set that Paula had bought for me. I looked at her, "I don't want to wear that. I want to where my black skirt with my purple shirt." She turned around. She jumped. I had startled her. She said, "What?" I moved past her and reached for the skirt and blouse. She frowned when I showed it to her. I curled my lips. She looked at me and said, "If that's what you want to wear, you can wear it.."

I sat down on the bed. She went and sat down in the chair. We both sat in the room. I knew she wanted me to wear the pink set. Kourtnee was serious about appearances. It mattered to her how people viewed her and the people associated with her. Paula was always flawless whenever she was with Kourtnee. Appearance wasn't as big an issue with me as it was with Kourtnee.

I laid down on the bed. I started doing leg lifts while I was lying on the bed. Kourtnee said, "There is a fitness room down the hall if you want to exercise." I sat up, "I don't feel like walking all the way down there." She walked over to the bed and picked up a pillow. I stood up, "What are you gonna do with that pillow?" She walked towards me, "Be still, I will show you." I ran out of the room. I stood near the balcony. I leaned on it. She stopped, "LaDawnya, come here." I smiled at her. She walked closer to me, "I said come here. I am not playing with you." I walked back over to her. She was frowning. I knew I had made her mad. She grabbed my arm and steered me back into my room. She told me to sit down. In the sternest voice I had ever heard from her she said, "I better not ever catch you doing that again. I don't want to see you playing near the balcony again. Do you understand me?" I looked at her and said, "Yes, ma'am." She told me to go down stairs. She walked behind me as I walked down the stairs. When we got downstairs, I went into the family room and she went into her office.

At 1:00, Colt and his mother arrived at the house. Mrs. Austin went into Kourtnee's office. Colt came into the family room. He sat down on the couch and looked at me. He asked me what was wrong with me. I told him what had happened. He talked to me about not worrying Kourtnee. He told me that I needed to go apologize to Kourtnee. He kissed me on my cheek then he left the family room to go speak to Kourtnee. A few minutes later, he came back into the family room. He told me that Kourtnee was about to leave for work. I went to Kourtnee's office.

I went into Kourtnee's office. Mrs. Austin hugged me. She started talking. I sat down in a chair near Kourtnee's desk. She looked at me. I looked at her. Mrs. Austin kept talking. Kourtnee stood up, "Monica, I need to go get ready so I can leave." Mrs. Austin said bye and walked out of the room as Kourtnee walked into her bedroom through the adjoining door. I walked in behind her. I sat down on her bed. She walked into her closet and came out with a pair of black heels, "You are always in my bed." I smiled as she sat down on the bed and changed her shoes. I said, "Kourtnee, I am sorry about earlier." She fastened one of the straps on her shoe, "Okay, sweetie." She fastened the strap on her other shoe. She went back to the closet to put up her black loafers. I watched her. She came out of the closet with a gift-wrapped box. She handed it to me. I looked at her, "What is this for?" She smiled, "I got it for you yesterday. Are you gonna open it?" I opened the box after I said thank you. There was a purple suit in the box with a white blouse. I looked at Kourtnee. I grabbed her and kissed her on the cheek. She smiled and told me that she had to leave. She hugged me and told me that she would see me later at Harmon Street COGIC. She left for work.

I took the box and my new suit up to my room. I was sitting in my room when Colt walked in the door. He asked me what I was doing in the room. I told him what I was doing. He said he had to go back downstairs and get something. He ran downstairs. He came back upstairs a few minutes later. He handed me a small box. I opened it. When I opened the box, a gold necklace with a heart pendant. The heart pendant had a diamond in it. There was also a pair of heart shaped earrings and a bracelet that had a heart on it that matched the necklace. I grabbed him and told him thank you. He smiled at me. I put the necklace, earrings, and bracelet on the dresser. Colt looked around in my room. He asked me why I didn't have any pictures up in my room. I told him that I didn't know. He said he would get his mother to paint my something for my room. I snickered. He told me that he was serious. I shrugged my shoulders. He stepped out of my room and yelled for his mother. I heard Mrs. Austin's voice yell back. He asked his mother to come upstairs. Mrs. Austin came upstairs.

"Boy, why are you making all that noise?" she said as soon as she walked into the room. Colt replied, "I told LaDawnya that she needs some pictures on her wall. I told that you would paint a picture for her." Mrs. Austin looked around the room, "You do need some pictures on your wall. Colt, why did you volunteer my services? I don't paint for free you know." She winked at me. Colt went over to his mother and tried to kiss her on her cheek. She moved away from him, "Colt please. He has always done that, volunteered my painting services." Colt walked to the mirror and began to check out himself in the mirror. Mrs. Austin smiled, "You are always in the mirror. Vain thang." She walked out of the room towards the TV room. Colt said, "I love you too, Mama."

June 20, 1997, 3:45 PM

Colt and I left the house at 3:30 going to Harmon Street COGIC to talk with Bishop Handsome. I was nervous. I had an idea of what he wanted to talk about, Mrs. Johnson, and leaving Harmon Street COGIC.

I had been a member of Harmon Street since I was five years old. I was a part of every ministry of the church that a young person was allowed to do. Harmon Street had been a big part of my life. I knew almost everyone in the church. I was going to miss Harmon Street. I had decided to attend Greater Buelahland with Kourtnee. I was dreading having to get to know a new set of people and making new friends. Colt interrupted my thinking when he asked if I was listening to him. I apologized for not listening and tried to pay attention. Colt started talking again. He was talking about stuff we could do together. He was getting into the whole father role. He wanted to go to museums, sporting events, and other stuff. He asked what kind of sports I liked. I told him racquetball. He chuckled. He asked what other kinds of things I liked to do. I told him. He kept talking. I kept half listening.

We reached Harmon Street COGIC at 4:46. Kourtnee was sitting in her car waiting on us. Colt smiled and commented that Kourtnee had probably arrived at 4:30. I laughed because I was thinking the same thing. We greeted Kourtnee. She looked at me and smiled. I was wearing the pink set that she had picked out. I was also wearing the jewelry set that Colt had given me. She looked at my jewelry. She looked at Colt and shook her head. Colt smiled back. I looked at both of them. They were sharing a secret moment and I wanted to know what it was.

I lead them into the side entrance of the church where Bishop Handsome's office was located. When we entered the door, the first person we met was Sis. Prentice. She was the church's secretary. She was smiling as usual. She walked over to me and gave me a big hug. I introduced Kourtnee and Colt. She shook both their hands and smiled at them. She walked back over to the desk and called Bishop Handsome on the intercom. About five minutes later, Bishop Handsome walked into the room. He walked over to us. He shook my hand. I introduced Kourtnee and Colt. He shook their hands. He asked us to follow him into his office. We followed him.

When we entered his office, he had to get a fold out chair from in the closet in his office. He only had two chairs in the office. He sat down behind his desk. Colt let Kourtnee and I sit down in the regular office chairs. He sat down in the fold out chair.

"LaDawnya, it is good to see you. We have missed you here. Sis. Crawford and the choir have really missed you," Bishop Handsome began. I responded, "I have missed you all, too."

He began talking about Mrs. Johnson. He called her Mother Johnson, that's what we called her at the church. When he started talking about Mother Johnson, Kourtnee grabbed my hand. I looked at her. She smiled. Colt moved his chair closer to me. I was fine while Bishop Handsome talked about Mother Johnson. When he finished talking about Mother Johnson, he mentioned the funeral. He stated that the youth choir was supposed to sing two songs at the funeral, "Telephone in my Bosom" and "Rejoice" by the Eastman City Community Choir. Mother Johnson liked to hear us sing those songs. I slumped down in my seat. If we sung those two songs, I would have to sing the solo on one and direct the other one. I put my elbow on the chair and put my forehead in my hand. Kourtnee asked me was I okay. I said that I was. I wasn't okay though. I didn't want to sing. I sure didn't even want to direct. I poked my lips out. Bishop Handsome looked at me and told me that God won't put anymore on me than I can bear. That must have upset Colt because he went off. He asked Bishop Handsome how he could say something like that to a child. He continued to say that they were asking too much of me during this time. He went on for five or six minutes. Kourtnee must have agreed with Colt because she didn't say anything to stop him.

Bishop Handsome asked me, "LaDawnya, do you want to sing and direct the songs?" I didn't respond right away. After a few seconds I said, "I don't know. Arlene said that Mrs. Johnson wants me to sing "Telephone in My Bosom." I agreed to do that, but I don't want to direct." Bishop Handsome sat back in his chair and put his chin in his hands, "You know that you direct "Rejoice". No one can direct it with the enthusiasm that you have. You can talk to Sis. Crawford at choir rehearsal tomorrow and work something out." I said, "Yes sir."

Bishop Handsome began talking about me moving my membership. Kourtnee told him what church I would be attending. Bishop Handsome smiled and stated that he knew Bishop Adkins. Bishop Handsome said that Greater Buelahland was getting a great new member. He kept on talking. He finished by saying that Harmon Street COGIC would miss me. He walked us out of his office and into the secretary's office. He said goodbye to us and went back into his office. Sis. Prentice said bye to us. We walked out of the doors to the cars.

When we got far enough from the entrance of the church, Colt began ranting. He was furious with Bishop Handsome because he had asked me to do so much at the funeral. Kourtnee told him to calm down, but it didn't help. I looked at the both of them. Colt kept on talking. Kourtnee gave me the keys and told me to go to the car. I took the keys and walked slowly to the car. After I reached the car, I turned and watched Kourtnee and Colt talking to each other.

I looked up towards heaven and said, "Lord, I need your help. I don't want to sing or direct. I need You to tell me what to do. I know that you can help me." After I said that, I felt peace. I wasn't worried anymore. I knew that everything would work out.

Kourtnee and Colt started walking to the cars. Colt looked like he had calmed down. He was still frowning though. Colt told me to ride with Kourtnee. I got in the car and we were on our way. Colt went in a different direction than Kourtnee and I did. I asked Kourtnee if she knew where Colt was going. She said she didn't know. She started talking about the funeral. I told her that I didn't want to talk about it. She changed the subject. She told me that some of the kids from Day Camp had given her cards and gifts to give me. I looked in the back seat of her car. There was a medium-sized box full of cards and gifts. When I turned back around, I thought about the gift that Arlene had given me. I still hadn't opened Mrs. Johnson's gift.